Blank screen. Endless possibilities. I can write anything. Go!
(…)
(Er….)
An Epic Tale of Beauty
Once upon a time…. (Yeah, that’ll work.)
Once upon a time, there was a poet of great renown who was commissioned by a king to create an epic that embodied all that was noble and beautiful about his kingdom. This poet, whose name was…
(Crap. I need a name. I hate coming up with names. Let’s see. How about Tolkien Tolkyn Olkyn Talkynn Tal-kynn? Yeah. that’ll work.)
This poet, whose name was Tal-kynn the Shrouded, accepted the task with aplomb.
(Better check websters.com to make sure I used ‘aplomb’ right. It sounds right. “Noun. imperturbable self-possession, poise, or assurance.” Perfect.)
For 40 days and 40 nights, Tal-kynn the Shrouded labored in his poorly-lit den. During those days he ate no food and drank only water. He barely slept. The task at hand, to portray in human language the most noble aspirations of mankind, ignited his mind and inflamed his soul.
(Just keep rambling. It sounds good and it drives up the word count.)
Words, those tabernacles of glory, into which one, by great art and inspiration, might unveil some glimpse of the Almighty–he wrote each with great trepidation, seeking the finest, the most divine. He examined each syllable, looking for its particular strengths and weaknesses; he weighed the meaning of each word, placed them on the scale and found which were wanting; he rearranged the words again and again, searching for a setting that would highlight the brilliance inherent in each. Line by line, stanza by stanza, he built his temple of light, blinding himself even as his candles flickered, burnt to stubs.
(Okay, that’s enough.)
When he stumbled forth from his room at the end of 40 days, weak and delirious with visions, he fell deathly ill. The king, trembling, entered the study and took the sheaves of parchment in his hands. Upon them were written, in the most beautiful script, the epic he had commissioned. He looked upon the first page and began to read:
(…)
(Er… )
Once upon a time…
In the beginning…
Help! I need somebody…
It is a truth universally acknowledged…
The king could not read the words, for they were too beautiful….
And then…
Then…
(Scratch that. Wrote myself into a corner. I’ll try again. Oh, I got an idea!)
10 Ways to Beat Writer’s Block
1.) Listen to music for inspiration.
2.) Change your genre. For instance, if you have to write a blog, try writing a fairy tale instead.
3.) Keep writing nonsense until something happens. Or you get stuck.
4.) Browse the Internet for ideas.
(That’s eight hours I’m not getting back.)
4.) Just beat it. Hard. With your fists.
5.) Repeat steps 1-4.
6.) Give up hope of ever being a writer. You’re pathetic. Really. You? Write? Ha!
7.) Repost something someone else wrote. Or something you wrote back when you could actually write well.
8.)
9.)
10.)
(Come on. I can do this. I’ve got an hour till deadline. It’s just a blank page. A fresh start. Endless possibilities. Endless possibilities. ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES! Too many. My brain is shutting down. I can’t handle it. I’m looking at infinite reflections in parallel mirrors. I’m so small. So insignificant. Nothing I write matters. I’m a hack. Words, words, words! Oh the humanity! Oh the humanity!)
(…)
(I’m better now. Ten minutes to deadline. Necessity is the mother of invention. Yes. Let’s see. Oh, I got it! It’s the Internet! The cool thing is to be interactive. Go social. Involve your audience. Yes!)
The Wonder of a Blank Screen
Here at The Works of Nick, January is “fresh start” month, and the biggest fresh start we writers encounter is a blank screen or, if you’re old school, a blank piece of paper.
Like the TARDIS, a blank piece of paper contains all of time and space, innumerable possibilities, and at least a little madness. The trick is making it go where you want. Or anywhere at all.
(Yes! Get those nerd points!)
When I sit down to write a chapter for my next book, or even take five minutes out of my day to write a blog like this one, I have my own methods to keep the creative juices flowing. But we ramble about ourselves all the time here. I’d love to hear from you instead. How do you get past a blank screen or sheet of paper? What are your tips on conquering writer’s block?
Share with us in the comments. We’d love to get social with you!
(…)
(…nailed it.)