In my continuing effort to catalog all my old stories here, I present “A Madman’s Tale.” Here’s the author note I wrote about it ages ago:
Every once in awhile I write a story that I laugh gleefully over while everyone else shakes their heads. I think this is one of those. It was originally my attempt at a “fairy tale,” but it became a chaotic exuberance of mad scientist mayhem. If there is any specific inspiration, it may be “The Man Who Killed Mohammed” by Alfred Bester. Read it.
Or, if that doesn’t convince you, here’s the first paragraph: “Once, there was a scientist who invented a portal to alternate dimensions. Now, this was no ordinary scientist. He was, in the accepted terminology, a mad scientist. It should go without saying that such a scientist must be mad, since ordinary scientists are abundantly content with making mice glow in the dark, or growing human ears on the back of mice, or making cotton candy grow in the place of fur, without bothering with all the mess of space-time and 11-dimensional sub-sub-atomic particles, and all the rest. Because, you see, the ordinary scientist (being ordinary) believes making an edible, phosphorescent mouse with ears the size of your uncle’s is utterly mad, but the mad scientist (being mad) finds such experiments only pitiable.”
It’s not a long story, but it’s quirky and fun, and features a mad scientist named Victor Von Victorstien, so take a few minutes and enjoy! Here’s A Madman’s Tale by Nick Hayden.